Rising above hate. How does one do that? The answer is complicated. In today’s world of anger and vitriol, trying to “fix someone” whom you feel needs to dissolve hatred, would probably lead to a good “cussing out” or other violent responses. Such actions help no one. So . . . what do you do? Do you remain silent? Do you pray? This article looks at how many people respond to hatred.

Listening to someone with hate “dripping from his mind,” is “creepy” as well as sad. Sad, because the pain brought to an individual engaging in such behavior, reveals the unhappiness he feels within, how he views the world and himself. There are infinite ways he could use the intelligence he has stored beneath the hate. Yet instead, he allows hatred to envelop him, and violence to control him. How does one define hatred? Rising above hate will not be easy, but gaining a better understanding of its underlying causes can be useful.

What is Hatred?

Merriam-Webster defines hatred as “ill will or resentment . . .prejudiced hostility or animosity; extreme dislike or disgust; hate.” Vocabulary. Com says hate is an “emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action.” It often leads to violence or a strong desire to devalue or exclude. How many people across America fit these definitions? What are the reasons for such intense emotions?

Psychologists list four strong reasons:

• Fear of “the other.”
• Fear of Themselves
• Lack of Self-Compassion
• Societal and Cultural Factions

Fear of “the Other”

Fear of “the Other” is an emotional tool that humans hang their hats on. It stirs revenge for the perceived “feared” and at the same time, offers self-justification for any violent action stemming from it. One dictionary meaning of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” “The other” can have many faces but the underlying meaning of the feared, is something or someone that looks different, acts differently and in most instances, believed to be inferior to the person who is afraid. Thus, acts of violence are viewed as defense mechanisms for protection, safety and the betterment of mankind.

Fear of Oneself

Many individuals hate who they are but feel helpless because they have no idea how to go about changing themselves. Clinical Psychologist Dana Harron says, people may project their own unwanted traits onto others, essentially using them as a “movie screen” for their own insecurities¹. This projection is a way of externalizing what we dislike about ourselves and attacking it in others, rather than confronting and accepting these aspects within ourselves.  How many times have you asked someone, “How do you feel about yourself?” Such a question is usually about how one feels about something or someone else. Also, those of us who courageously ask that question of someone, often hears, “I don’t want to talk about myself” or the person describes traits he does not exhibit but has a deep, painful desire to express them.

Lack of Self-Compassion

“Charity begins at home.” Hating oneself is a blueprint to hating someone else. Love, the opposite of hate, is a divine quality that God has bestowed on all of His creation. However humanly, it must be understood and recognized, first in oneself before it can be seen in others. Humans cannot express what they do not have. Thus, a sense of helplessness occurs and develops into a lack of compassion for self and others. If one has no compassion, one cannot express love.

Societal and Cultural Barriers

Joining hands physically is easier that joining hearts morally. Societies decide who’s in and who’s out; who is “more than” and who is “less than.” Humans adopt these cultural barriers as realities, and normalcy takes place. Children grow up labeling people negatively. Societies separate the “acceptable” from the “non-acceptable.” Laws are passed and enforced to support those “norms” and the wheels of injustice rotate from one generation to another. Today in America, many people believe those “so-called norms” are being overturned, so they are adopting policies and laws to keep them intact.

Fear also plays a role in the actions of many people. Inwardly, they know how they feel and treat “the other,” and fear if “the other” gains power and develops a new norm, how will they be treated? Will the new norm do to me that which I have done to them? Hundreds of hate groups have sprouted across America to defend this sense of “more than.” Projection causes them to see in others what they see in themselves. So, instead of rising above hate within themselves, they hate others.

Rising Above Hate

Rising above hate should be at the forefront of eliminating all human frailties. How do we handle it? Divine Love is the answer, but the world has replaced it with money, power, control and deep-seated hatred. Truth has become a scarcity and lies the norm. Morality is low and immorality high. Religion is used as a “lighting rod” to grab or hold on to power. Look at the picture America…stare it in the face. If we are to grow as a nation, we must learn what divine Love is and seek to demonstrate it on a daily basis. Where do we start?

The answer: within ourselves. No one can work out my salvation but me; no one can work out your salvation but you. It is a day-by-day, minute-by-minute challenge to curb evil thoughts that cloud a sense of moral right. The only true right is God’s right. The starting place is understanding how you define God. Begin with “God is not made in the image of man, the man He created, is made in the image of God.” And …the man God created is not human. Do not humanize God! He is not human, He is divine. Learn the difference. The next step: “Who is God to me?” Seven key words are: Mind, Spirit, Soul, Principle, Life, Truth and Love. Each day, seek a spiritual understanding of them. And…be honest with yourself . . . only you know when you are lying.

Begin the journey of defeating hate within yourself, not for others . . . but for you.