IS HOLDING A GRUDGE MAKING YOU HAPPY?

Holding a grudge may make the mind happy. . .but it damages the soul.

What is a Grudge?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines grudge as “a strong feeling of anger and dislike for a person (whom) you feel has treated you badly, especially one that lasts a long time.” Many times the person in question has no idea you are having such feelings of displeasure. So, the question becomes does this feeling serve a positive purpose?

WHO BENEFITS FROM HOLDING A GRUDGE?

Booker T. Washington recognized that resentment hurts the person carrying it around. If not checked, it progresses into hate. Hate moves into violence. What is the satisfaction in grudge-holding? None. The person expressing such bitterness has a mental blockage on the flow of good that is seeking to enter his thought. Hate is a precursor to disease. Violence wears on the soul and may land you in jail or result in death. There are no benefits . . . only sacrifices.

FAMILY GRIEVANCES

One of the most painful experiences is having a family member or spouse treat you badly without a cause. Such treatment cuts to the core of your emotional being. Why? Because you expect better . . . you expect love. It causes you to recall happier times when you did things together, shared wonderful experiences and how you helped him or her because of the love shared. Then, you ask yourself, “How could he do that to me?” Handling such experiences can generate lasting grudges if not based on forgiveness. Mercy releases you . . . not the person. It may include remembering the incident, but liberating yourself from negative feelings. Other times, you may not even remember the experience.

HOLDING A GRUDGE AND TIME

Time can be a factor in gaining mental freedom. Experience has shown that distancing yourself from “the other person(s), can be helpful. Seeing or hearing them can reactivate the grievance you have against them. Distance allows you to focus on both “Self” and “self.” The capital Self is God. Focus on what it means for you to express that Self. Does it involve bitterness and resentment? Or, does it force you to have love and mercy, even when everything inside of you rebels against it? Only you can decide! Looking at “yourself” requires digging deep into consciousness and uncovering your own faults . . . your contributions to the experience . . . whether intentional or not. Wiping the slate clean means destroying all selfishness within “self.” It may takes days, weeks, months or years, but beginning the journey is the key!